Why is this important? I just don’t want you categorizing ALL men into the player category. A lot of women have this fantasy of the men they’re dating going out and hooking up with other women whenever they want to. The reality is that they might WANT others to THINK they can do this… but very, very few men actually have this ability. And for most men, it simply isn’t worth it to learn this skill. It literally takes years of going out and talking to thousands of women to get anywhere close to having this ability. For most guys, it’s too much effort on something that isn’t important to them. Alright, let’s discuss how to spot a sneaky, manipulative player, shall we? Since there ARE men who are players and you DO need to watch out for them, this is very important. When I was a men’s dating coach, I met some of the most skillful players in the world. Guys who pick up women as a hobby… guys who pick up women as a profession. And do you know what I determined? Many of the things that would make someone an excellent long-term partner, these guys DIDN’T possess.topadultreview.com
In fact, the things that you’re probably the most attracted to aren’t any of the things that make a guy a good potential mate. How does this help you spot a player? Simple: As a woman, you have some level of intuition about whether a guy is being genuine or not. If you ignore this intuition because you feel so attracted to a guy that you really want to make it work out, you set yourself up for failure every time. Or worse, you fall in love with a guy’s potential… “He’d be so perfect, if only he…” This is a recipe for disaster. If you meet a guy who seems perfect, take a step back for a moment. Listen to your intuition. Be real with yourself… Are you ignoring any red flags that you should pay attention to?
and when you’re with a guy because of who he COULD BE some day later on, stop lying to yourself. You’re settling. Players aren’t looking to settle down and have a real relationship. I know MANY of these guys. They don’t even understand WHY other men would WANT to be in a relationship. Or they’re broken and aren’t willing to deal with that area of their life right now. And you’re more likely to win the lottery four times in one year than you are to change his mind about what he wants. YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FIX HIM. He’s NEVER going to decide that you’re so awesome that he needs to fix himself for you. It’s just very unlikely. He needs to do this on his own. And when you’re giving him everything he needs (sexually, emotionally, etc.), he won’t have any motivation to get it together for you. So, here’s the point: Don’t date a broken man with the hope of who he will be some day.
And pay attention to your intuition. Look for red flags and don’t ignore them because of how attracted you are to him. The things that make you attracted to him aren’t exactly the same things that make him a good potential mate. What do you think? Do you have any other methods to spot a player? Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook7Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Featured, For Women Tagged in: commitment, finding mr. right I’ve never screwed it up on a first date. Really, never. My hair always falls perfectly, I’m up-to-date on current events, and I never have too much to drink. The last one is a lie. Regardless, I’ve never had a first date that didn’t result in an invitation for a second.
Avoiding embarrassing moments is a class I’ve aced. That being said, I was kid who literally cried over spilled milk. I’ve become so adept at avoiding embarrassing or uncomfortable situations because I’m so deathly afraid of them. I am the absolute worst person to have around in a crisis because I have no idea how to respond to a situation I’ve never encountered before. Usually I respond by crying, which, apparently, is never appropriate for a first date. At 25 years old, with a health insurance plan that was approaching expiration, and without any qualified prospects, I spent a week talking non-stop to someone I had met through an online dating website. We texted throughout the day, and spent about two hours on the phone every night. We talked about our families, past (equally insane) relationships, and everything in between. By Saturday night, the night of our first date, I was ready to test if our physical chemistry matched our digital chemistry. Needless to say, we both got just a liiiitttleee closer than originally intended. After an incredible dinner at a prime real estate table, with the best waiter, at the most in-demand restaurant in town (so say he,) my date and I headed back to his apartment for what I assume he thought would the cherry on top of an ideal evening.
We can fast forward to the part where we’re on his bed. I’m fully clothed, but he has, for some reason, decided it’s ideal to remove his shirt and jeans, leaving him in pristine white brief underwear. I’d like to elaborate on this further but I just don’t have the energy to explain why, on God’s green Earth, anyone under the age of 65 would wear those. In any case, with a combined ten ( very strong) drinks between us, one can imagine the raw, sensual, vodka-soaked fervor with which the two of us tandem-somersaulted around that bed. After several acrobatic maneuvers I was completely unprepared for, I came to rest, like a woolly mammoth, on top. I was so excited that the room had stopped spinning, I lunged in for a deal-sealing kiss. Unfortunately, so did he. I remember the impact. A crunch, and then warm, and wet, and impossible to stop. I have never had a bloody nose before. And yet, there it was. All over his hairless chest, his crisp white sheets, and of course, in my freshly bleached blonde hair. I was so sure this was what a broken nose felt like.
I screamed, “It’s bleeding! My nose is bleeding! You made my nose bleed! You broke it! It’s BLEEEEEEDDIIIINNNGGG!!!!!!!” I simultaneously jumped up and, like a lunatic, bounced around from corner to corner of the room like a prize fighter. I’m having a fucking anxiety attack, and this guy is looking for a box of Lucky Charms. “My nose is bleeeeedddiiiiinnngggg!!!!!” What else can one do when bleeding all over a new guy’s EVERYTHING?! I at least wanted to mark my territory if I wasn’t getting laid tonight. If not with urine, then with blood, surely. Nothing says “don’t date me” like a potential crime scene in your bedroom. Checkmate, asshole.
Please don’t think I squirted DNA everywhere, flipped my hair, and all was well. I’m not that graceful. I screamed and spewed for a good 2 minutes before this dick moved off his ass and took me to the bathroom. Obviously, my “trail of tears” pretty much quelled the fires for the night. I went home soon after, and it’s anyone’s guess how he explained the House Of Horrors to anybody after that. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Sex Tagged in: awkward, Dating, embarrassing, first date, men, Relationships, relationshits, Sex, women Men ought to be very careful when it comes to choosing their outfit for a first date as women can be very observant. They will take in every little detail that even a fashionable men might not even think about. It’s all about the small things A lot of men out there want to impress on their first date by adding a luxury designer watch or an expensive sports jacket to their outfit. Numerous studies have shown already that these type of details might be important but they don’t help at all if the rest of the attire doesn’t work. The best example: belt buckle, cuff links and tie. It doesn’t come across as very classy when you choose the most vibrant, blinding colours and patterns. The same can be said for a thick gold chain or a too showy gold watch.
They convey the opposite of stylishness. Another big fashion faux pas which can be easily avoided is the bum bag. If you own one, don’t wear it to the first date. A date is not an office meeting Many men who want to look neat on their first date will wear a suit. However, by doing so you quickly run the risk of looking out of place and overdressed in most surroundings.topadultreview.com a bar or a restaurant is not the same as a business meeting so don’t over-do it no matter how expensive or beautiful the suit might be. Furthermore, avoid crazy colour experiments in the hope of coming across more dynamic or modern. Only wear what you know suits you. This will also make sure that you will feel more comfortable. For instance, if you are generally a pale type of person then a black jacket won’t be beneficial. The last thing you want to do is to dress up and take on a role rather than be yourself.
But the biggest fashion sin is to wear socks in sandals. It might be hard to believe but this point still needs to be made as there are plenty of men out there who will still make this unforgivable mistake. Relax and enjoy yourself A date should be a fun way to get to know another person. It isn’t an interrogation or a fashion show. A smart casual look is always a safe bet. Mens designer clothing brands such as Love Moschino, Alexander McQueen McQ, PS Paul Smith or 7 For All Mankind offer sophisticated styles, perfect for the first date. Find out more at www.diasdesignerclothing.co.uk. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Fashion, Online Dating The X-Rated Power of the People You may have heard about that took place this winter, but what was it actually protesting against?
If you’ve been following the news in recent months, you may have heard of an unusual protest taking place outside the Houses of Parliament. Taking place in December 2014, these so called ‘face sitting protests’ seem like something to laugh about – at first glance anyway. For there is actually a deeper meaning behind them, something which could affect the kind of adult media we consume.
Yes, we’re talking about porn – and not everything has been going so smoothly in the world of x-rated entertainment lately. What triggered the protests? Recently, the UK government has been trying to crack down on harmful media that people can access online. While there are certain things that certainly should be banned, the kind of porn that most of us watch on a regular basis doesn’t seem to come to mind. However, that’s exactly what the government have focused on. From now on, pay to view porn sites have to follow strict guidelines and the inclusion of some acts have been banned completely. So why did face sitting become the symbol of a protest movement? What was the reaction? Amongst the sex acts banned from UK porn is, you’ve guess it – face sitting. Many people were upset by these new rules and regulations, including those who work in the industry as well as those who watch porn. Even those who aren’t fans of porn were worried what these new laws meant for online media in general – was this the first step on a very slippery slope? Could this be the first sign of mass censorship? This was what triggered the protests, along with some other concerns that these changes effectively removed female gratification from porn. Who was protesting? So people decided to protest – and the face-sitting proved to be an arresting visual.
Campaigners descended onto Parliament Square for a decidedly different type of protest to what most politicians were used to. It wasn’t the sleaze-fest the media expected though; instead, it was a show of solidarity for sexually liberated people. Feminists, sex workers, and porn viewers were all united in the fact that they didn’t want the government telling them what was and wasn’t okay to be turned on by. From dommes brandishing whips to someone sitting on Santa’s face, this certainly wasn’t a protest for the faint hearted. What difference did it make? The laws didn’t change as a result of the protests, but that’s not to say that they were held completely in vain. By protesting, campaigners showed that they cared about the changes that had been made without anyone’s consent or prior knowledge. Desire isn’t something that could be dictated and regulated by a government, and if all acts in porn are fully consensual and don’t perpetrate any violence or misogyny, then where is the harm in watching them? For now though, face-sitting enthusiasts will have to make do with what they can do at home rather than watch on a screen, and we don’t think people’s sexual appetites may have been dimmed at all. Porn may have been made more mundane, but the same definitely can’t be said about people in Britain’s own sex lives! Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: News, Sex Tagged in: censorship in the UK, obscenity laws, politics, porn, porn laws, protest, UK porn laws, united kingdom laws Hi I’m 28 years old I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years.
We have a great sex life I do however fantasize about her and other men. I don’t want to see her have sex with them, I just want to be with her after. I really like her dearly and this would not affect the relationship. I just need some advice on how to approach the situation? And what I should do? Is this weird? What would you do if you was her? — Oleg. As you can see, we get all sorts of questions here at the Urban Dater. Well, Oleg, that’s a doozy, although not as abnormal as you might think! A study was done and shared over at the Journal of Sex research that around 46% of respondents liked to watch other people have sex (or enjoyed being watched themselves). People are kinky and that’s okay. The first thing I’ll tell you is that it’s okay to be kinky.
I’ve got my own stuff that gets off, too. Btw, watching a gal I’m with have sex with someone else is a thing I enjoy, too. All of that is to say that your kink is normal, dude. What I find interesting is that you DON’T want to watch. I’m curious why that is, but no biggie. You just want to know that she’s had sex with someone else. But, still, I dig it and i will understand it. The ask You’ve been together for a while now, so I’m thinking you can have open and honest conversations with one another. For something like this to work, you need to be transparent. That’s what’s worked for me. I wouldn’t beat around the bush, be direct and tell her that you’ve had this fantasy. Talk it through. The worst thing she can say is “no.” And if she does say no, then leave it at that and respect her wishes. You can’t be worried about what she might think; again, transparency, in my opinion, is key.
Doing different things like this can be a healthy change of pace in your relationship. The conversation will be central here, though. You need to discuss what it is that you want, how it makes you feel, and, of course, if your partner wants to help you out there. Then ask her how she feels about it and to be open with her feelings. You’ll want to know how it makes here feel. Then how do you deal with finding someone for her to have sex with? Are there any limits with whom she can have sex with? Are your mutual friends off-limits?
Can she have sex with past lovers? Can she have sex with people multiple times? How do you deal with things if a guy has feelings? That’s all the messy shit, but I think it’s worth discussing. More than anything, the best thing you can do is to be open and honest with how you feel and what you want. That’s a part of a healthy relationship. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Ask the Urban Dater, Sex Tagged in: Sex, voyeurism I started Tinder just like numerous else, with the hope of meeting someone special. He didn’t have to be the one.
I just wanted to meet someone who genuinely excited me. At first, Tinder seemed like a good way of meeting men without going to bars. I’m not a big bar person and out of the few men I ever met at a bar, most had a liking for alcohol, a bit an excessive amount of for my taste. With Tinder, I could pick men from the comfort of my very own home, and with me being a bit more clearheaded and the pool of men being a lot bigger, I expected the result to be better. There were lot of men to choose from. At first, I thought my age would be a problem (36), but that didn’t seem to matter. I got lot of matches. With Tinder, I could pick men from the comfort of my very own home, and with me being a bit more clearheaded and the pool of men being a lot bigger, I expected the result to be better. There were lot of men to choose from. At first, I thought my age would be a problem (36), but that didn’t seem to matter. I got lot of matches. Tinder for Men There are many more men than women on tinder to start with, the difference can be as big as 80 percent men and 20 percent women according to this article.
The same article also states that the average women on tinder get twenty more matches than the average man, and even more depressing, to get one woman to respond a man has to even when this statistic doesn’t exactly match the tinder statistic for the area in the world where you are sweeping, this information could be good to keep in mind. Be nice, guys don’t have it easy on tinder. Swiping, Swiping and Swiping During the year I spent on tinder I swiped no to at least 2000 men. (Noexaggeration for effect here, I did a quick calculation). I assumed the men in all those blurry pictures weren’t interested in the same thing as me. I swiped yes to nice-looking men with at least five different pictures and at the minimum a short funny introduction. For research purposes, I tried swiping yes to some men with no introduction. But it soon turned out that their communication contained as much substance as their tinder presentation. ( It was non-existent.) My Dates I chatted with more than 100 men; this was truly as time-consuming as it sounds. Especially since many of those men loved to send messages daily, but didn’t seem as excited about the thought of a real meeting. To deal with this problem I added to the profile text that I preferred to meet up for a cup of coffee, in front of endless chats.
I met up with around 30 men. Surprisingly they were all nice, seemed reasonable normal and even though the reality of their looks never was as good as their pictures, their personality was intact. Once the initial nervousness had evaporated the conversations flowed and I enjoyed meeting so many different kinds of people. I went on long walks, tried out restaurants I wouldn’t have tried otherwise, and visited a couple of museums and countless bars and coffee shops. I kissed five of the chosen men. Just to try out exactly how much chemistry we had. I had sex with two of them. And maybe this is a coincidence, but the sex was not good. Not even close to the amazing sex I was hoping for after all my sweeping and chatting and dating. I don’t think I can pin this disappointment on an app. But guys,seriously, take some time, read up a bit on the subject at least. It’s not enough to only use just one instrument to make the show work if you know what I mean.
How about some actual foreplay and maybe using your hands. Most women do not orgasm from penetration alone. All future partners will thank you. There was actually one man I really wanted to meet again (none of the ones I had sex with). He hasn’t gotten back to me.