Confidence is Happinesses Middle Name I’ve seen many guys chat with women and totally kill the mood by discussing how their lives are in the dumps. They don’t understand that bringing down the mood in ten minutes or less is a sure-fire way to have a lady walk away from you. When you’re first meeting a lady she doesn’t want to be your personal Doctor Phil. She wants you to communicate with her in a vibrant way that shows that you’re confident with yourself and an overall happy person. Sure, the saying goes misery loves company but do you really want to be with someone whose miserable? Hank wouldn’t… Whenever Hank introduces himself to a lady for the first time he does so with confidence and without an ounce of depression. No matter what is going on in Hanks life he’s always willing to make light of the situation and demonstrate his love for life. This comes through his day-to-day antics along with his amazing wit and off-side humour. He often says things that many people can only sit and scratch their head at…That’s exactly what you want. The Willingness to Apologize Almost every three episodes we see Hank apologizing to Becca or Karen. While some will argue that sorry doesn’t cut it after it’s said over and over again, it’s easier to get a over than never get one at all.stripchat gzy This goes back to my earlier point about men often times being selfish and unwilling to think about the other persons feelings. Being selfish we often are stubborn when it comes to apologizing for doing something wrong.
We make up excuses and rarely admit our mistakes. Hank recognizes the importance of admitting when you’re wrong and also optimistic that he will beat his demons. You see, lot of us are unhappy with the person we are on the outside as well as on the inside. However, rather than making an attempt at fixing or even seeing our own faults we dismiss them and never strive to improve. If were commitment to constantly improving ourselves and becoming better men, we’ll live a more fulfilling life. This is a guest blog post from Ross Simmonds, a digital marketer in Halifax, Nova Scotia. You can find more of his thoughts and blog posts on his website; the Cool Perspective. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook9Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men, Tips & Advice Tagged in: hank moody That’s right, I said it! I think good relationships are easy, it’s the bad ones that are crappy and otherwise confusing. Sure, you guys are probably thinking, “Um, dude, you’re an idiot,” and, sure, you’d be right, but stick with me here. You see, I feel that relationships really don’t need to be as difficult as they tend to be with folks. I’m some of those folks, so allow me to explain…Relationships, when they’re going well, are easy. In my experience, when a relationship is healthy it’s like breathing.
You don’t think about it and things just happen and move along. However, that’s not to say that a relationship doesn’t require work. They do! They require many different types of work depending on what area of the relationship we’re talking about, like sex, finances, work, kids etc. etc… Doesn’t that type of contradict the title of this article? I suppose it could, but I disagree. When dealing with people there are certain ethos that we follow: do unto others as you would have them undo to you. Well, most of us, sign up for that belief. Relationships have an ethos, or generally understood culturally accepted way of being dealt with.
Obviously, different countries and cultures view relationships differently with respect to the role of the male and female. I’m not really talking about that. When relationships are going bad, or become confusing and indecipherable there is a presence of any amount of breakdowns within the relationship. When these breakdowns occur, you need to identify them, not only that but expectations and consequences need to be set as well. I’m going to over simplify, here, what I believe are key components to a healthy relationship. I’m not going to cover them all in this post, just here and there. So sit back and don’t relax, that makes me nervous! Communication – Respect – Trust – Effort – Willingness to Compromise – Communication – Okay, now you’re thinking I’m just cherry picking the low hanging fruit. Yeah, communication is key; it’s a given. If communication isn’t happening you’ll know it. Things will begin a gradual or sharp decline. If you or your partner are not communicating there’s some questions ask each other. For starters why is there a breakdown in communication? Sure, any amount of reasons could exist. The bottom line, at the end of the day, if there is no communication there will be no relationship or, certainly, no relationship worth being a part of.
The other day I was talking with the gal I’m seeing.
She had brought something up that didn’t really anger her, it was an observation about me. What it was is that she felt that I am comfortable being in non-serious relationships. Ultimately, what she was getting at was she wanted to know if I would be in a serious relationship with her. The answer is yes. I communicated that to her. She was happy with my answer. I took the opportunity to tell her about something that she does that annoys me. Baby talk. =) Yes, baby talk, as trivial as it may seem it tugs at me in such a way I could just beat my face with a sledge hammer and feed myself to a grizzly bear. The point is that these two items can snowball, along with other issues, if they aren’t addressed in due time. I shouldn’t have waited for her to voice her concerns to voice mine, but I took the opportunity when I saw it, so that is a positive.
I truly believe that communication in relationships are not unlike hurdles on a race track. You don’t win the race by going around them, you need to go through them, well, over them. If issues are left unresolved they will build. The expectation here’s that if something is bothering either you or your partner that something should be said and not left to linger. Obviously, the consequence for falling short of the expectation is confrontation… Depending on the nature of the confrontation it can be positive and constructive, like in my example. Or it can be a knock down drag out fight. I don’t care what anyone says, fights like that are bad. They’re not healthy and if they continue to manifest then a relationship will fail, it’s only a matter of time.
Not only that, they’re so easy to avoid if couples just talk things through. Even the most hard core asshole has to communicate to create things better. If not, then is this the type of person that ought to be in a relationship anyway? It’s easier to say than to do, I realize. However, when communication, at least positive communication, exists it does open up the main vein to righting things within a relationship or keeping it healthy. If we let communication lag in a relationship, like ignoring cholesterol and let it blow an artery then that is a sure way to end a relationship. Until next time, talk it away. See if I care!
I mean, I’m listening… Really. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: communication, Relationships I’m not in the dating pool anymore. This revelation is well-documented and if you didn’t know, now . However, I’m still a huge tech-nerd. I have more interest in flashing my Android’s kernel than being flashed by Tits Magee. It’s a sad situation really, but I digress. Having a mind on tech and on this here bloggy blog, I’ve decided to share a few apps that I think are pretty damn good apps to square away ones dating life.
That said, get your phones un-locked and loaded and head to your nearest app store you mangy bunch of tech groupies! Getting Laid on the Go OkCupid OKCUPID – I know a lot of people who hate, with a healthy passion, OkCupid. I’m not, nor have I ever been one of them. It’s how I met Taylor, y’know. I’ve always loved the site and their blog always spits out tasty morsels of data for the dating masses to consume. They have a software for both iPhone and Android. Both apps are slick and perform the necessary tasks you’d expect. You can message other singles, rate them, see your stalkers (so bummed they renamed it to “visitors”) and so on. When this first came out for Android, I was surprised how easy it was to lose time in the app. For instance, I found that I’d go through the ratings and just randomly rate women, while waiting. They’re nothing super fancy, but each app just works and does well what it intends to, that is let you take your dating life on the go.
There are a number of things you can’t do as @datehaterblog points out. For one, you can’t block certain users from searches and such. There are a amount of other things that it lacks. However, for a basic app for searching and messaging, I think the app does the basics well. However, I would expect a stronger showing from OkC. Availability – iPhone, Android Match.com MATCH.COM – Yep, those clever little peeps at Match.com are in on the action, too!topadultreview.com They have their own app as well. Now, i will tell you that I haven’t actually used this app on any device as I’m not a paying Match member. My girlfriend would systematically obliterate me afterall with her blazing Thunder punch to the nads… It would not be pretty. The reviews on the product are average, with the largest problem being the inability to edit your profile from your handset. Booo!
If you’re a paying member, it’s probably best to avoid the apparent frustrations that this app seems to provide its loyal and paying customers. Availability – iPhone, Android, BlackBerry (people still use blackberrys?) Planning a Special Night With Your Date Movie Night Out – This app came out a few months for iPhone and Android and I pretty much love it.
As its title implies, it’s all about centering your evening around a movie. The ‘find a movie’ functionality is tops. But that’s not the sweet spot for me. Personally, I freaking love the plan my night functionality. Sure, it’s yet one more way technology is making us brain dead by destroying the need to be creative. Just let the app “do it!” Well, I did just let the app do it. It has me going to see Skyline (I chose ‘Fright Night’), then to Fast Frame to see an exhibit, followed by dinner at a local Eye-talian eatery. Not too shabby. Certainly this sort of app can help greatly reduce the occurrence of my favorite conversation: “Ummm, What do you wanna do?” Availability – iPhone, Android Yelp – Oh Yelp! They had me at “Free Food for Elite Yelpers!” Oh did they ever!! Anyway, I’ve used this app so many times to find fun things to do and interesting places to go since 1910… A wee bit of an exaggeration, but still, I cannot overstate the importance of this app in my former single life and even more so now that I am in a relationship! For instance, I was supposed to meet a date for coffee, but the shop was closed!! I used Yelp to find what is possibly one of the coolest tea spots in Culver City: Royal Tea. Soooo yummy and sooo cool! What a great spot!
Just the other night, my girlfriend and I were going to meet up with a buddy of mine for late dinner. He wanted different! No problem. We found a great Ramen spot in Little Tokyo. Availability – iPhone, Android, BlackBerry, Palm Pre OMG! Get Me the F#CK Out of This Date!!!! ditch a date Ditch a Date – When you don’t have a reliable friend or relative to call you at a specific time during your shitty date, there’s the Ditch a Date App for (BlackBerry). The developer’s description: Need to get out of a date? We’ve brought together over 150 excuses that you can use to turn down a date request, or get out of a date once you’re already there. Why do we even need this app? Come on now! I mean, can’t we just shove our date into the wood chipper ala Fargo? Illegal, you say? Well so is listening to hour after hour of cat stories.
Gag me. Better yet, I’ll throw myself in the wood chipper just to get out of the situation. Keep your crappy unrated application! What are some of your preferred apps for managing your dating/romantic life? Share them below. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: Dating, iphone, life, match.com, romantic date ideas, smart phone In a word: No. What does it mean to settle for you? Settling and compromising are two very different things, you see. But to really understand the difference let’s talk about what each of these items are, first. I looked to Urban Dictionary for a suitable definition, but came up empty, unless “Being pussy-whipped is a side-effect of settling” is a suitable answer for you.
I suspect it may not be. Settling is what you do when you just want to be a part of the status quo. That is, we settle when we’re in a position that’s okay, or “good enough.” The situation might be good, but it’s not great, or there’s a problem that’s being overlooked. An example: Man’s wife cheats on him. He finds out. He chooses to keep with his wife and keep the family unit together… There’s a lot of good in doing so. Love has a lot to do with his decision to stay. Being an outsider, i will only say that I wouldn’t have. But I’m a more selfish person, I think and less forgiving. That laugh!!! Maria Menounos was hot until she laughed!!! Gack! Example 2. Boy meets girl, boy and girl date, develop strong feelings and have a child. They haven’t been happy together in some time. Each have stated if not for this child they would go their separate means.
They’ve settled, in the best interest of their child. Whether you agree or not, my opinion is that this is a noble thing to do on their part, even if it’s not ‘right.’ But is it okay to settle? Lots of people do and maybe they should. But you get one crack at this thing, the way I’ve figured it. By “thing” I mean life. So why spend your life in a situation that makes you sad, or drives you bonkers. You’ll be 70 and telling some asshole kid how they should follow their dreams because you never did. Well, that’s shitty.
I know many folks who have settled for less in their relationships. It’s not easy to ask for more. I know I said I wouldn’t write anymore about my recent breakup, but I feel it’s necessary here. My ex knew she wanted kids. She knew it with everything in her heart. She wouldn’t be denied and she wouldn’t settle. She said “okay then, I guess that’s it.” And like that, it was over. Walking away from someone you love is hard and it’s so for a reason. When we grow together, our roots intertwine to a point where it’s inconceivable that we would ever be apart. It takes great strength and self love to walk away; it’s tough because you leave what’s comfortable for the unknown.
I think that’s where many people get tied up, the unknown. Settling, just means you’re not ready to accept or take a chance on the awesome stuff that life has for you, i’m. I’ve been told many times, by friends and family “what if you never find someone who loves you like your ex?” Indeed, what if that comes true? That I never meet someone who i will love and who loves me. That would suck. “Life is better with a co-pilot,” after all, as George Clooney put it. I can’t see how staying in a situation that isn’t right for you because you fear being alone is any type of good at all. It’s not. But I guess it’s easier for me to say because I’m okay being alone; I know that being alone doesn’t last… But tough-minded folks do.
Is it ever okay to settle? Slap yourself in the face, Mija! No, it’s not. You’re doing more harm to yourself and your significan other by staying in a situation that you both hate. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: 30dayblogchallenge Tweet tweet, mon ami We’ve all been there: A long-term relationship sadly comes to an end. “The Talk” is followed by the separating of things, drunken get-your-mind-off-it escapades with friends, and—gulp—the inevitable Facebook status switch-a-roo back to “single.” It’s in that moment that you wish you could look Zuck straight in the face and say how dare you! while dramatically hitting the delete button on your account. But we never actually do.
Our dater selves have become completely intertwined with our social selves; we post pictures of our significant others, tweet about the gifts they give us, and check into restaurants while on dates with them. Everybody in your network is exposed to who you’re dating, how serious it is, and even how you feel about that person—for better or worse. We’ve accepted that the two are now one. Online dating sites are capitalizing on the trend at a rapid rate. OkCupid lets you tweet out to your profile from the site, allowing everybody who follows you on Twitter to see. Where we once lowered our voices and whispered to only our closest friends about joining Match.com, we’re now happy to blog, update and alert everyone that yes, I am on eHarmony—and Plenty of Fish, and Zoosk… But what about the other way around? How eager are we to talk about our social selves with potential dates? Would you let someone you’re interested in read your Twitter feed? See your Foursquare check-ins?
It’s the next logical part of blurring the lines. As social media and online dating start to meld, one will not be without the other. Admit it: You’re Googling, Facebooking and Twitter-stalking potential dates anyways—why not have that information surfaced for you instantly while perusing an online dating profile? For now, dating sites and social networks will remain superficially separated, and likely will remain so for some time. We like to be tricked into thinking they’re still distinct entities. But peripherally they’re creeping into each other’s digital space. Is your digital self ready? Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Tagged in: Online Dating, social media Because Emo Love so Rules! Didn’t you learn anything from Twighlight!? Perhaps you’re sitting down at the bar, with a friend, and going on about how all men suck and need to be snipped.
Perhaps you’re taking in the working single mothers of the night professing that the best kind of woman is the one you can pay fifty bucks, get your rocks off and never see her again. However, it’s likely you’re at neither of those extremes and that you’re somewhere in the middle. You’re tired of being single, you’re tired of playing the game, or being played. It’s okay, we all get there. Even at the height of my dating I began to have doubts as to if the whole business of dating and mating was really all that I’d made it out to be. What’s my point? Dating sucks, but I want you to remember that there are nuggets (not pooh nuggets) to take from the relationships that eventually drive you to date in the beginning. Come again?
I’ve heard it said that the number of exes one possesses is simply an indicator that tells a person: “Wow, you fail at relationships n’ stuff.” Sure, an ex points to a relationship that didn’t work out; a failure, really.